Snow Beast Mode: Activated
Meet the most radical resident of the high alpine – our big-mountain beast who thinks double-blacks are warm-up runs. This powder-hungry pro proves that yetis don't hibernate, they send it!
Technical Specs:
- Dimensions: 2.25"W x 1.77"T of pure send
- Premium PVC Construction
- Velcro backing stronger than your legs after a cliff drop
Built for Mountain Missions:
- Waterproof (like your excuses on powder days)
- Cold-resistant (that's why they call it yeti-tested)
- No-curl edges (straighter than your fall line)
- Bomber velcro backing (grips better than your edges in the steeps)
Perfect For:
- Big mountain believers
- Cliff-dropping creatures
- Deep powder devotees
- Back bowl bandits
- "Go big or go home" specialists
- People who think ropes are suggestions
- Anyone who's ever said "watch this"
Why This Beast Rules:
- Lives for face shots
- Thinks ski patrol is just being dramatic
- Considers avalanche beacons everyday wear
- Makes helicopter pilots nervous
- Has never met a drop they didn't like
Warning: May cause:
- Chronic powder fever
- Spontaneous weather checking
- Uncontrollable urges to hit bigger lines
- Sudden alignment of sick days with storm cycles
- Mysterious disappearances on powder days
- Excessive use of the phrase "full send"
Essential Mountain Knowledge:
- Knows every secret stash on the mountain
- Can smell approaching snow storms
- Speaks fluent "steep and deep"
- Has a PhD in powder dynamics
- Never waits for ski patrol to drop the ropes
Slap this alpine animal on your gear when you're ready to show everyone that the best lines are the ones that make your mom nervous.
Note: No actual yetis were disturbed during product testing, though several were spotted hitting 60-foot cliffs.
