Pillaging Hearts Since Forever
Look who just sailed in from stealing the show! With a beard more legendary than your camping stories and swagger that makes Thor jealous, this pint-sized pillager is here to raid your hat game. At 1.6"W x 2.25"T, he's proof that you don't need a longboat to make waves.
Technical Specs:
- Dimensions: 1.6"W x 2.25"T of pure Norse energy
- Premium PVC Construction
- Velcro backing stronger than a Viking's handshake
Built for Glory:
- Waterproof (like a well-oiled beard)
- Cold-resistant (Scandinavian tested)
- No-curl edges (straighter than your moral compass)
- Bomber velcro backing (more secure than your treasure chest)
Perfect For:
- Professional feast throwers
- Axe-idental tourists
- Casual plunderers
- Certified beard enthusiasts
- Anyone who's ever called a boat a ship
- People who think horned helmets are historically inaccurate
Warning: May cause:
- Spontaneous mead drinking
- Urges to build longships
- Excessive use of "thee" and "thou"
- Uncontrollable need to throw axes
- Mysterious acquisition of gold
